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I have to admit (and I certainly don't want to) 'Bad Boys 2' almost had me. At about the 45 minute mark, I was leaning heavily toward a rating of 3, perhaps even 3.5 stars (out of 5). It was decidedly stupid, but I'd laughed a few times, and some of the action scenes were pretty slick. And really, how high is this movie aiming anyway? If things move along well, there is some semblance of a story, Michael Bay's ludicrous camerabatics don't make you too dizzy, and you laugh occasionally, you're doing pretty well. What I didn't realize at the time was that there was now about twenty minutes shy of two hours left of the bloody thing. ***

What might have been a simple enough guilty pleasure action-comedy, quickly became a burdensome fiasco of insulting ego trip. If there's anything you know for sure after suffering through this outrageously long 'epic', it's that Michael Bay couldn't be convinced that you could be any more stupid than you are already, and that he thinks it is possible to actually do something 'interesting' with this movie. Either would be enough to sink the film's possibilities, but both together renders it devoid of any conceivable merit. ***

The titular Bad Boys are Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Martin's character is having some doubts about remaining teamed up with Will's character, because he thinks he's needlessly violent ala 'Lethal Weapon'. Martin's quest for less violence and stress leads to many a gag about therapy. The plot for this outing is that 'Johnny' Tapia, a drug lord in Miami.... I was going to say something that he does in the movie, but he doesn't exactly do anything, he just sort of 'drug lords'. The Boys become involved in his dealings twice. Once, when they learn about a shipment of Ecstasy which we eventually learn is Tapia's, and again when Martin's sister, working the case from a different angle, is posing as a money launderer to infiltrate Tapia's narcotic ring. We also throw in a sub-plot involving Will's relationship with Martin's sister, and the difficulties of telling Martin about it. ***

That's really all we've got, and despite the two hour and twenty minute runtime, it's the exact same plot as every other movie about cops and a drug lord. The cops get information from informant, which leads to a shoot out with the lower-rung dealer, which leads to a flimsy progression to the kingpin. Throw in a police chief (or their boss, or whoever) who yells at them at a lot, and you can't distinguish the thing from hundreds of others. ***

But there are things you don't have in those other movies of course. There's the insane camerabatics Michael Bay is notorious for, that are perhaps cute at first, but never go away. No matter how much you may think it would be a good idea, there's a very good reason roller-coaster rides aren't an hour long. There's the inane banter between Will and Martin when the subject of their continued partnership comes up, which locks the brakes on the movie's pace several times throughout. Worst of all, it's a gag that never rings true, because Will, unlike the character in 'Lethal Weapon', isn't doing especially crazy things, he's mainly just shooting at people who are shooting at him, and unless this is a new form of Catch-22, that seems fairly sane behavior, and moreover just the sort of thing a partner might encourage. ***

The real recipe for this movie is a good helping of 'Beverly Hills Cop', and a dash of 'Lethal Weapon', and it's all drowned in a sauce of the most vile, simplistic garbage that is spawned of a group of drunk rednecks playing 'Wouldn't it be cool if...?' Most of the humor is criminally reminiscent of the general overtones of the 'Beverly Hills Cop' movies. The scene where a befuddled potential suitor is met with Martin and Will acting 'crazy' just screams of Eddie Murphy. 'Lethal Weapon' I've gone over already, and the rest..., the rest is just ludicrous. Ecstacy is a dream drug for a lot more people than just those that use it, or want to. It's a dream drug for money-grubbing filmmakers that just want a great excuse for a scene with a nightclub where half-naked women are blitzed on 'sex drug'. We want a movie about a drug dealer, but the scene of the zombified heroin addicts isn't going to get any underage teens to sneak into the theater. This, by the way, is why drug dealers have movie-historically owned topless bars (or similar) as their 'front'. ***

Shift gears to the many chase scenes and shootouts in store for you, and it's more of the same. What is not at all bad action for a while, is eventually boring and finally displaces our ability to suspend disbelief. However bad it might be in LA, there are only so many rounds of automatic-rifle fire that can be traded between cops and robbers (and only so long it can go on) before a helicopter shows up with a someodd millimeter canon and just wastes everyone. Of course, I have no idea the exact number of rounds that might be at issue there, but I'm guessing it's somewhere slightly shy of a day in the life of the Vietnam War. Not to be put off by my raised eyebrows and yawns, the movie conveniently takes its story to Cuba, where the Bad Boys will now be up against the Cuban military. How's that for a save? ***

So, there was a time when I was actually enjoying myself a bit. That was the point where another director might have just kept zipping along, rushing headlong for the end before the audience had too much time to think about anything, and tried to keep them laughing along the way. The main thing I recall about 'Bad Boys 2' was that it just kept not ending at me.

The picture quality is nothing short of amazing, and that isn't at all surprising. The main focus here is looking as good as possible, and the surprise would be if every effort wasn't made to maintain that for the transfer. Colors are sharp, almost glorious at times. 'Cuba' looks especially breathtaking. Skin tones are quite good, and there are no problems with compression artifacts or shadow degradation. An excellent transfer. ***

The sound is also exceptional. The sound design is something to be envied by other productions. Crashes, flyovers, explosions, and simple ambient noise all make great use of all channels. The soundtrack is very clear, and the dialogue is almost distracting in its clarity. That is, when things are blowing up all over and you still hear the lines perfectly it seems odd. There are no level drops, scratches, or other soundtrack flaws. The music, a key issue with this movie, sounds superb as well.

In terms of the total time it would take you to watch all the special features on this 2-disc set, you could say that it was certainly fully loaded. Apart from a feature commentary, it could hardly have more. If you look at how much interest you actually have in what you'll be watching for that time, however, you may have a more difficult sort of decision on your hands. ***

There are seven 'deleted' scenes available, but only one of them is truly a deleted scene. The other six are just extended versions of scenes, and a couple of them are only slightly extended. The fact that anything had ever been cut from this movie amused me to no end. ***

Next we have a generous helping of featurettes. 'Stunts' is a ten-minute feature that goes into detail on how some of the stunts were done, focusing on three: the main car chase, the downhill drive, and the house explosion. Director Bay, Producer Bruckheimer, and some of the stunt coordinators delve into how these were managed, and this is a pretty solid feature. ***

'Visual Effects' is a roughly twenty-minute feature that shows us how the CGI work is made to meld with the real footage to get the final product. We see the build up of a shot, some shots may have upwards of ten parts to them. There's a great deal here about how the Ferrari survived a lot of the work by not really being there, as well as a lot of Behind-the-Scenes shots of creating the car chase scenes. If this could be interesting to you, it probably will be. It's a very nice feature.

Next we have what the disc calls 'Sequence Breakdowns'. There are six of them, and they are six scenes from the film which can be viewed in several different ways through this feature. You can view the actual scene from the film, the raw footage for the shot (generally several more minutes worth of film), the storyboards, or you can read the script for the scene. One or two of these are pretty interesting, but after that you've pretty much got the idea. ***

Next comes the meat of the special features, the 'Production Diaries'. This sort of thing falls into the realm of 'for true fanatics only'. There are nineteen of these, and if you are a Smith or Lawrence fan, or think Michael Bay is as cool as he does, you might get something out of these. If you pick and choose, there is something here for everyone, but a great deal of it is just a gargantuan ego trip for Bay. These diaries span everything from the 'Genesis' of the idea for the first movie, to training the stars went through, to a bizarrely gratuitous breakdown of the nightclub scene, to a three-minute breakdown of a five-second kissing scene. These range from two-minutes in length to eight or more, and a good rule of thumb is that they're all at least two-minutes too long.

For those already committed to being fans of the movie, or the franchise, the 2-disc set is a worthy purchase. An excellent transfer, and a generous portion of special features will be a treat. For those who've managed to stay away so far, weigh your options carefully.

Marc Eastman

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