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An odd thing happened when I saw “Dance Flick” in the
theater back in May. As soon as the end credits started
rolling, I got up, stretched, and looked around. Absolutely
no one was in the theater with me, which is odd since I
distinctly remember four other people sitting behind me.
Clearly, they had had enough of the film they were watching,
and while I didn't dislike it enough to want to leave halfway
through, I can still understand where they were coming from.
***
"Dance Flick" marks the return of the Wayans family
to the field of parody filmmaking. The director is Damien
Dante Wayans, and he co-wrote the film with his cousin Craig
and uncles Keenan, Shawn, and Marlon. With such a large
family all in the same business, it's a shame they weren't
able to come up with something that made more of an effort
to be funny. There is, however, an amusing scene featuring
Marlon as a moody acting teacher; he dramatically points
out that of all the working actors today, most are white,
and the roles for black actors are reserved for the Wayans
Brothers. ***
I'd be lying if I said that I enjoyed this film. I
will say, however, that it's a fair sight better than the
abomination that was 2008's "Disaster Movie." Honestly,
when was the last time you saw something so incompetent?
At the very least, "Dance Flick" makes an attempt at a plot.
***
Still, it's a very disjointed plot, and the jokes are
obvious, juvenile, and hopelessly self-referential. In other
words, no one was trying very hard. One could argue that
parodies are not supposed to try, but I could just as easily
counter that argument by bringing up "The Naked Gun" trilogy
and the two "Hot Shots!" films. ***
Many movies are spoofed in "Dance Flick," but the focus
is mostly on "Save the Last Dance," "Step Up," and "Step
Up 2: The Streets." After the highly humorized death of
her mother, a suburban white girl named Megan (Shoshana
Bush) moves into the predominantly black inner city. She
then enrolls in Musical High School, where young artists
and performers go to make their dreams come true. She soon
befriends an unwed mother named Charity (Essence Atkins),
who takes her infant son with her wherever she goes (and
I do mean wherever). ***
She also meets Charity's brother, Thomas Uncles (Damon
Wayans, Jr.), a streetwise young man who has gotten involved
in shady underground dance competitions with his posse.
He takes it upon himself to help Megan get back into dancing;
she was once a classically trained ballerina, but she lost
her will when her mother died. ***
That's essentially as much of the plot as there is
to describe. Everything else is just filler material composed
almost entirely of verbal and physical gags. Take, for example,
David Allen Grier as a morbidly obese gangster who only
wants to spend his money on food. So passionate is he about
eating that he belts out a number to the tune of "And I
Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from "Dreamgirls." ***
And then there's a parody of Troy Bolton from "High
School Musical," who in "Dance Flick" is about as gay as
gay parodies get. He gets the chance to sing a humorous
version of the title song from "Fame," which, strangely
enough, is one of the film's best scenes. ***
I'm well aware that movies like this don't require
the audience to question certain things, but I'm afraid
there are some things that don't make sense even in a parody.
Why, for instance, did they include a Tracy Turnblad lookalike
when no one even bothers to spoof a scene from "Hairspray"?
Who thought it was a good idea to feature a shot of a street-dancing
pregnant woman giving birth on the dance floor? Did someone
think that posing the fetus in a dance position would make
up for its tastelessness? And why on earth did they end
the film with a scene that makes fun of "Twilight"? The
last time I checked, "Twilight" did not feature a single
scene of street dancing. ***
That being said, there are a few (a very select few)
scenes I thought were somewhat amusing. The final dance
competition playfully exploited David Allen Grier and his
enormous fat suit, which is exaggerated to the point that
it's no longer offensive. I also smirked during a moment
between Megan and Thomas; music swells as he tries to offer
her words of encouragement, prompting him to turn around
and tell the orchestra section to keep it down. Alas, nothing
else stands out as being funny or memorable. ***
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