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“Dr. Dolittle 3”
Wayne Klein
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Genre: Comedy
Special Features: Commentary track, “Making of Dr. Dolittle 3”, “Growing up Dolittle”, theatrical trailer for “Little Manhattan”

Looking back from the vantage point of 2075 I thought I’d take a look at a film that created a new definition in the Solar Edition of Webster’s-Lite Dictionary. Do-little (adjective) Sequels produced by studios to wring a “franchise” dry; to do nothing; A film where the main star isn’t interested in returning and a company uses supporting cast and the same formula in hopes the film will do well; a direct-to-video film. ***

Eddie Murphy a 21st century movie star who began his career as a comedian on “Saturday Night Live” (now in its 90th year and boy does it show) had many ebbs and flows in his career. “Dr. Dolittle” remade from a strange film featuring Rex Harrison about a man who could talk to animals (as if that was any big deal who can’t understand animals now?) featured Murphy. Murphy’s career began to take an upswing but he still elected to appear in the less than memorable sequel. He could smell the stench from the third script and, as a result, wouldn’t commit to it. Now we have his daughter (when did she become a d octor?) who also has the ability to understand animals speaking perfect English (clearly they’ve been reading Webster’s). Maya Dolittle gets into trouble and shipped off to a ranch with other children. She can, of course, “talk to the animals” and hear what they are saying as well. That must be disconcerting. Perhaps this film was designed to help children adjust to the changes their bodies go through during puberty. I suspect that they used this film as a form of torture with terrorists how else to explain this horrifying and putrid product?

--- Image & Sound:

These two-dimensional flat films were a form of entertainment before jacking into the estherfield for interactive character assimilation entertainment. The film images are surprisingly clear and pristine given the age of the elements. I suspect that the producers of this secretly hid this away as a secret weapon to kill enemies in case of invasion. The sound is likewise clear with every inane bit of dialogue designed to lodge in your brain and drive you to madness. A very clever weapon that clearly was designed as a last resort should the U.S. of A be invaded. ---

Special Features: I think these features on this disc were used for special prisoners and were designed to drive them into submission. How else to describe the commentary track featuring the stars of the film talking about the film while you’re watching it? No doubt it would strike sheer terror into anyone’s heart and was used to dumb down the population. There’s also a 16 minute thing called a featurette entitled “The Making of Dr. Dolittle 3”included here and an even shorter one called “Growing up Dolittle”. I suspect these two shorts were designed to replace the out of fashion Chinese water torture. While these two featurettes are short they seem to go on forever much like the drip drip drip drip dirp of water on your forehead. ---

Final Words:

I suspect that political prisoners were subjected to the entire disc as a form of execution. Watching this “film” was an unsettling experience. After watching this I started looking for a building I could throw myself off of. I sought help before being driven to suicide but I suspect viewers during the 21st century weren’t so lucky. This film could easily be used to subjugate an unruly population. It might even cause blindness. Evil knows many forms "Dr. Dolittle 3" is just one of them.


Copyright @ Teakwood Productions 2000
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