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First things first: Rowan Atkinson is nowhere near as annoying or stupid as Mike Myers and his overplayed "Austin Powers" franchise. But he deserves a better vehicle than "Johnny English" to let us in on that small secret. This day-old bread exercise casts Atkinson as the titular hero, who begins the movie as an assistant to one Agent One, who dies in the line of duty, and leaves the door open for English to assume his position as the secret agent he fantasizes about being. There's only one problem: English hasn't got half a brain between himself and a beetle, and despite the best efforts of his assistant Bough (Ben Miller) to keep him in check, he stills goes about business as usual, which normally means a trail of mayhem and debris left behind. When he's assigned to locate and retrieve the stolen crown jewels, he comes into contact with stock, generic characters, including the villainous Pascal Sauvage (John Malkovich), and the mystery woman (Natalie Imbruglia) who is sinister but intriguing. ***

And just as English is on a mission, so are we, the audience, undertaking one of our own. In the world of "Johnny English," a second feels like a minute, a minute an hour, an hour a millennium, so it's only fair to say that it soon becomes something of an endurance test to try and either stay awake or contain one's steadily mounting impatience as we wait for something appealing to appear. But the sad truth is that there's just nothing funny about "Johnny English": the jokes fall flat in their attempts to throw PG-rated, Austin Powers-like comedy at us like projectile vomit, and what's worse, we've seen so much of this before that it really has nowhere left to go. Even the ever-engaging enthusiasm of Atkinson cannot bring me to recommend embarking on this mission of monstrously boring proportions. --

The 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer for "Johnny English exhibits a fine-looking picture that holds its own throughout the entire film. As with spy movies like this, everything is very glossy and shiny, with lots of metal gadgets and cool spyware; as a result, the image has a sheen to it that is very nice. Color saturation is good and fleshtones are accurate, while blacks are solid and contrast and shadow detail in great shape. Clarity and detail are also commendable, with sharp edges lacking obtrusive enhancement halos, and the source print is in fine form, with minor film grain and no artifacts. Very nice. ***

The Dolby Digital 5.1 audio mix is, as expected, a very good one. With lots of sound effects, machine guns, explosions, and things of that nature, you can expect a great deal of good imaging and surround sound to bring it all to life. The rear channels are generously used throughout, while the .1 LFE gets a workout as well in the high-intensity action moments. Imaging and channel separation are good, and dialogue sounds natural and remains centered. The overall balance of the mix is great, and despite the movie being so bad, this audio track is quite engaging. --