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| Dvdivas
was founded by John Gabbard in 2000. It's purpose has been and
remains to be to provide you, the entertainment community with
the latest dvds and movie reviews. It will continue to be your
link to the most popular dvd movies. |
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“The Newlyweds:
Nick & Jessica The Complete Seasons 2 & 3“
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Reviewed
by: |
Wayne A. Klein |
| Genre: |
Reality
show |
| Video: |
1.33:1 Full
screen |
| Audio: |
Stereo (2.0)
|
| Languages |
English |
| Subtitles |
English |
| Length |
Approximately
8 hours |
| Rating |
NR |
| Release Date |
Paramount
Home Video |
| Studio |
6/7/05 |
| Commentary:
|
None |
| Documentaries:
|
None |
| Featurettes:
|
“Nick Moments”, “Jessica
Moments”, “Happy Birthday Jessica, Love Nick” |
| Filmography/Biography:
|
“Nick & Jessica
Timeline” |
|
Interviews: |
None |
| Trailers/TV
Spots: |
“The Newlyweds” promos
|
| Alternate/Deleted
Scenes: |
None |
| Music
Video: |
None |
| Other:
|
None |
| Cast
and Crew: |
Jessica Simpson,
Nick Lachey, Ashlee Simpson |
| Written
By: |
Donson Clash,
Carla Connor |
| Produced
By: |
Sue Kolinsky,
Dan Murphy |
| Directed
By: |
Matt Anderson,
Katherine Brooks |
| Music:
|
Shawn K.
Clement |
| The
Review: |
The end of the world is near. I
seem to remember something about the four horsemen of the
apocalypse appearing. Two of them are Nick Lachey and Jessica
Simpson. The amount of space wasted on TV and the radio about
these brainless wonders astonishes me. Stop the madness! No
more Nick and Jessica. Please let them slip back into the
obscurity they deserve so much. OK, now that I’ve vented I
can move on. “The Newlyweds” reminds me of a perverse version
of the old game show “The Newlywed Show” in which newly married
couples would compete to see who knew the most about each
other and who were knuckleheads. If that show were around
the Lachey’s 15 minutes of fame would be up. Jim Neubanks
where are you when we need you? ---
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| Image
and Sound: |
We read
supermarket rag magazines for the dirt not for the pretty paper
it’s printed on. The same applies to a show like this. We really
watch this show because we’re all, at hearts, peeping Toms.
The video quality is OK with a picture that’s hard to see sometimes
(and, no it’s not because I’m not wearing my brand new contacts).
It’s the lighting folks. It’s the limitations of digital video
and how much you can tweak a show if it’s shot under less than
optimal conditions. So the picture isn’t all that great but
that’s not the real reason we’re watching this show. The audio
is presented only in Dolby Stereo and it’s not all that adventurous
which, given that this is a reality show, isn’t a surprise.
I don’t know if I could handle Jessica Simpson’s screeching
in Dolby 5.1 or DTS. Thisis the ultimate proof that there is
a God. --- |
| The
Extras: |
We get
deleted scenes. Oh boy. “Nick & Jessica Timeline” allow us
to visit their relationship with video clips at various points
in the past. And physicists said time travel was impossible.
It reminds me of a story where if you change one little thing
in the past all these minor changes occur that really tick
you off. Don’t watch it you may change your future. Trust
me on this. You’ll save 15 minutes of your life. “Happy Birthday
Jessica, Love Nick Special” focuses on Jessica’s 12th, I mean
24th birthday. I was mistaken at first because I was thinking
of her mental age. Nick has a surprise for Jessica and, adly
for us, it’s not an ax. “Nick Moments” and “Jessica Moments”
features the best moments each have in the second and third
season. They last a combined total of 6 minutes which tells
you a lot. “Newlyweds Promos” is four minutes of footage from
the show that demonstrates one of two theories: the first
theory is that this is a very funny show and these are funny
people; the second theory holds that they’re idiots. That
makes show even funnier. Like evolution and the Biblical story
about Adam and Eve one of them is wrong. You decide. Someday
folks will look back at this decade and decide that “The Newlyweds”
will be like those really, really bad sci-fi movies from the
50’s where someone mutates into a monster because of radiation.
Except that these two mutate into monsters from having a camera
turned on them. Did I mention I really dislike these two people?
Oh you could tell? ---
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| Commentary:
|
What could
Jessica and Nick possibly say that would prove they aren’t idiots?
This show leaves me speechless and I imagine that that’s true
of anyone outside of the two of them. |
| Final
Words: |
Like a car
crash, “The Newlyweds” is fascinating to watch. Sure it’s funny
but for all the wrong reasons. I keep waiting for the blood.
That doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it just keep in mind you going
with your baser instincts if you submerge yourself in this show.
You also might feel like you’ve lost a couple of I.Q. points
if you stick around these two too long. If Jessica Simpson is
a member of Mensa then I’m a famous pro football player. The
good news is that “The Newlyweds” is funny but for all the wrong
reasons. The bad news is that I’m afraid Jessica and Nick will
lose more I.Q. points if they shake their pretty little heads
any more on this show. Season 4 lurks around the corner like
a thief ready an waiting to take your money. After that “The
Newlyweds” will disappear into video history. Oh happy day.
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