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Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins

The adventure begins- and ends- in "Remo Williams," a movie that makes me wonder why anyone would consider such trash as this entertainment. Riding the waves of the whole secret agent subgenre of action and comedy that has given birth to numerous films of this sort (the "Austin Powers" flicks come to mind), the movie focuses on a New York City police officer (Fred Ward) who saves the day in the opening only to find himself swimming with the fishes. Later regaining consciousness in a hospital, he learns that his death has been staged, and his identity changed to that of one Remo Williams (the name comes from a bed pan manufacturer). Now working with a top-secret agency that busts everyone from dirty law enforcement to would-be assassins, he finds that he has bigger fish to fry, and more bullets to dodge. ***

And speaking of bullets, where's the complimentary slug that the viewer is supposed to bite down on while watching the movie? "Remo Williams" is without a doubt one of the worst movies I've seen in years, a lifeless, empty-headed attempt to spoof, poke fun at, and revel in the spy genre, with a tongue-in-cheek attitude that's totally wrong for the material. The level of seriousness is really what ruins everything: it doesn't look as if the actors or the filmmakers had any fun making this picture. Ward appears strained and unfocused, while his supporting co-stars don't make much of an impression, either. The action is silly in composition but completely unfunny, and once it's all over, you'll be wishing Remo would have done everyone a favor and just stayed at the bottom of the harbor.

Where the original 1.85:1 aspect ratio has disappeared to, I don't know, nor do I really care. "Remo Williams" is a movie that looks bad in any measurement, and this fullframe transfer is rather rough-looking. There is a heavy abundance of film grain present throughout the film, as well as some source print blemishes, while artifacts also pop into view. Color saturation is okay but could be better, while contrast is so-so. Clarity looks pretty decent, with sharp edges that only suffer some minor halo damage. ***

The sound comes in Dolby 2.0 Surround, and isn't really all the great, either. Sound effects sound rather indistinct and unfocused, while the soundfield is a bit uneven in terms of transitioning and imaging. Deep bass is occasionally present but not that spectacular, while dialogue sounds okay for the most part.